(erielack) [no EL content, but funny nevertheless] My weekend video rentals

["Tupaczewski, Paul R (Paul)" <paultup_@_lucent.com>]

Over the weekend, my wife and I went to the video store to rent a movie for Saturday night viewing. Of course, there was nothing good on the shelves, but one new release caught my eye:

"DEATH TRAIN"

Yep, an action movie. With death. And a train. How can you lose? My wife begrudingly gave in and said, "OK, there's nothing else good out right now."

The movie starts off with a bunch of guards onboard a train car (resembles a baggage car to me). Apparently, they're protecting something, and we later learn it's a large shipment of diamonds (being sent, of course, on an armored train!).  They toss in PLENTY of prototype segments of BNSF and UP trains (I recognized Cajon Pass in several of the clips). Mind you, all the trains shown are supposed to be representative of the SAME TRAIN (the motive power and train itself dynamically changes, I suppose), and all the trains are freights. Hmm.

Of course, the movie goes on, and the head guard leads the "bad guy" (under the guise of being a "switch repairman") into the cab. They show the back of the cab, and you see some 1960s-era computer equipment, and the rear cab door (on the fireman's side of the cab!) is just an office doorway leading into some office. Great effects.

Anyhoo, the bad guys get away with the diamonds, so our fearless lead guard works tracks them down to Mexico, where they're captured, and are being returned to the US on a (surprise!) train. Of course, the train happens to have a whole lot of Americans on it, and some Mexican folks that have suspiciously American accents. In their defense, the train scenes appear to have been shot in Mexico with Mexican equipment. Of course, the prisoners break free and take over the train. Eventually, there's a big climax where the train (whose engineer was shot), out of control, slams into a steam train (being operated by a drunk Mexican taking swigs of tequila - I kid you not!) and the whole thing blows up.

There is horrible editing (they keep showing runbys, and the "steam train" goes from one to two engines and back to one) - occasionally, they show the running gear of a side-rodded switcher rather than the bizarre Alco-esque Mexican diesel they use (complete with lack of front or side handrails).

Overall: If you are a knowledgeable railfan, and truly want to laugh all night, rent this one. The acting is horrible, the continuity stinks, but it's great escapist entertainment.

Back to our regularly-scheduled EL content. :)

	- Paul

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