(erielack) Fwd: Final Update for Jerry Custer

[james eisenhart <jdejrelk123_@_gmail.com>]

om, adrabick1_@_verizon.net


To my community of loving beings,

We have been on a long journey together for four and a half years.
There have been many turns and twists in the road and we have now
reached a destination that has allowed Jerry a release from pain,
struggle and limitation.  On this journey our family was given
unexpected gifts of time, compassion, support,  joy and ever
increasing honesty.  We met challenges that forged us and opened a
well of love so deep and so wide, it feels to me that it could hold
the world.

The last two weeks of Jerry's life were the most difficult.  I will be
always be grateful that he  remarkably had a minimum of physical pain.
His hospice nurses were quite amazed that he needed  to take so little
pain medication.  He struggled mainly with  loosing  abilities to take
care of himself and this was very hard.

Jerry was surrounded constantly by his family during his last weeks.
His sisters Pam, Carol, Rella and Jeannette came and spent time with
him.  His brother Lew was here and helped to care for him.  Our son
Ben was able to work many days from our home with his lap top.  Cris
and Joe were here to help lift him, feed him and comfort him.  Shannon
brought William up from Virginia each weekend so that he could see his
Pap Pap.  Our older grandchildren Greg and Michaela were here to love
their grandfather and help with the endless tasks of these kinds of
vigils.

Jerry was able to pass in his home with his family present.  Despite
the struggle of the last two weeks, his actual passing was fast and
easy.  So fast in fact that if it hadn't been for his sister Rella's
insistence that all of this was going to happen sooner rather than
later,  I would not have known to call our children to be by his side.

My dear friend Michaela Donohue had given me a booklet last spring
about bringing the death rites into the home and having the family
resume the role of washing and preparing the body.  It felt right and
when Jerry and I talked about it in August, he agreed that he would
like us to do this.  On that rainy Monday night Michaela came and
helped us.  I was not prepared for how sacred and profound this was.
There was such comfort in this last, beautiful act.  We dressed him in
the clothes he had picked out--the featured clothing article being his
black Erie train tee shirt.  Then we kept his body here at home until
the next afternoon so that family members could sit with him.  The
idea of doing this part had initially felt a little strange.  My kids
agreed to it because they are great kids.  What was amazing was how
natural all of this felt--how gentle and peaceful.  I think we all
were surprised about this sense of rightness.  By the end of the
afternoon, with adults sitting in the chairs, little William scooted
his cars on the floor around Jerry's bed.

I have learned many things during this part of my sojourn.  I've
learned the importance of receiving, the absolutely essential need for
supportive community.  I have learned that people give in so many
amazing and remarkable ways.  Some people bring you pictures of your
wings.  Some people hire a chef for you, so you don't have to cook.
Some people help with medical bills. Some with healing sessions and
visits. There are those that bring you mung beans and rice.  Other
people bring you information.  Others hold you up with prayer and love
and flowers.  And its all important.  Every gift matters. They are all
vehicles of presence.  I understand community in a way I did not 5
years ago.  Community is no longer a theoretical construct.  It is a
loving, living force that rides on  waves of cooperation and unity.
Your love touched the depths of my heart and Jerry's. For that I am
forever grateful.

My entire family walked this road with such grace.  My larger
community did as well.


Jerry's memorial service will be held at 11:00 AM Nov. 17, 2012


 Monocacy Valley Church

  9861 Old National Pike

 Ijamsville, Md. 21754
                           (The church is directly across the street
from Oakdale Middle School)

I have been requested to include Jerry's obit:

Gerald (Jerry) B. Custer
August 3, 1944 - September 17, 2012
Middletown, Maryland- At age 68 on the evening of Monday September 17,
2012, surrounded by family who adored him, Jerry’s mighty spirit
peacefully left this realm and found freedom and release.

Born to Virginia and Claire Custer on August 3, 1944 in Warren, Ohio,
Jerry grew up in rural Ohio surrounded by a large family. He had 9
siblings. He attended Windham High School and served in the US Army
from 1964 to 1967. After leaving military service, Jerry moved to
Maryland where he met and married Karen.

Jerry returned to school during this time to study computers and
communication technology and later took a position at Railinc. A life
long railroad enthusiast, he became known as one of the most
knowledgeable people in the area of local railroad history. His memory
for railroad facts and information was legendary. Jerry was also an
amazing train photographer who developed his own signature style for
capturing train images. He enjoyed music, good food, unpretentious
people and nature.

He was a man who loved his family with a passion. Jerry was so proud
of his children and grandchildren. They were one of the biggest
delights of his life. He had a deep and gentle spirit, a big heart and
a sense of humor he kept to his very last breath. This man will be
carried in the hearts of those who loved him.

In lieu of flowers or memorial donations, please engage in an act of
unsolicited kindness, help someone smile and dare to forgive. This is
what would make Jerry joyful.


With all of my love,

Karen

	The Erie Lackawanna Mailing List
	http://EL-List.railfan.net/
	To Unsubscribe: http://Lists.Railfan.net/erielackunsub.html

------------------------------